


I Remember

by LDaniels



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-08-23 20:17:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8341306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LDaniels/pseuds/LDaniels
Summary: After Ashlyn's girlfriend, Ali, up and disappears after their high school graduation, Ashlyn never hears from her again, that is until Ali is given a chance to fix what had been broken nearly two decades ago; sending her on a cross country journey and to the doorstep of the woman she fell in love with all those years ago.





	1. The Letters

**Author's Note:**

> This a bit of a long chapter, but there is much that needs to be gotten out of the way in order for this story to progress.

 

Ashlyn never stopped trying. There wasn’t a day that past that she hadn’t thought of Ali in some way. How couldn’t she? After everything that had been through with Ali’s parents, everything they fought for, all the endured just to be able to see each other…Ashlyn didn’t understand how Ali could just up and walk away like nothing had ever happened. But they were young, and had far too much growing up to do. Whether they wanted to believe it at that time or not, they were on too very different paths of life, and Ashlyn was just a little further ahead than Ali. So when Ali left, she left without an explanation, only saying “Im not in a good place with myself right now”. That was all she said over a text after she refused to even talk to Ashlyn in person about the whole situation. It shattered Ashlyn. Totally destroyed her. She kept in touch with Ali’s grandmother whom she often exchanged letters. Ali’s grandmother was the only member of Ali’s family that ever gave Ashlyn a chance, even invited her over for dinner at her house in city. That night at Ali’s grandmother’s house was the last time Ashlyn ever saw Ali. After Ali drove Ashlyn home that night, they said their goodbyes and Ali drove away. Things didn’t seem like they could be more perfect. But a week later Ali called Ashlyn while she was on vacation with her family and she told her that she just couldn’t do it anymore, that she just wasn’t ready. And the next day was when Ashlyn got that final text. Ali refused to speak to her, but her grandmother didn’t. They spoke of many different topics; flowers and food, politics and government, life…only rarely about Ali. For over ten years they wrote each other and she never knew. And her grandmother had no intentions of ever telling her. She almost felt as if she didn’t deserve to know after she had been the one who walked away so coldly. In a way it was also because her grandmother believed that if the world brought them together once, it would do it again, only this time it would hopefully be the right timing.

 

* * *

 

Ali is 31 now, living on her own in New York. Her brownstone apartment was everything she ever dreamed it would be. She was home on her lunch break when her mother calls her with bad news. Ali’s grandmother was gravely ill and her mother thought It was best if Ali came home to Virginia to be with her. That night, Ali packed up her bags and was on a flight.

 

* * *

 

Walking into the hospital room, she was hit with an aura of sadness and it was almost painful to be there amongst all her family, especially since talking to her mother on the phone yesterday as the first time she’d spoke to her in years. After Ali graduated, she basically disappeared to everyone in her life, Kyle and her parents included. I guess she just had a lot to figure out and needed to her alone to do it. At least, that’s what she told herself.

 

She stepped over to her grandmother’s bed, brushing past her long lost family members, and taking a seat in the chair right next to her. Ali took her hand and her grandmother turned towards her and smiled.

 

“Ali…it’s so good to see you.”

 

The tears immediately began to well in Ali’s eyes as she looked at the woman, barely holding on to life in front of her.

 

“It’s good to see you too gram. You look good.” A tear fell from Ali’s cheek, but suddenly the sadness faded and she smiled as her grandmother began to laugh.

 

“Oh, honey. You don’t have to lie to me. You and I both know I’ve looked better.” She smiled.

 

“I miss you gram…” Ali began to cry again. “I should’ve come around more. I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t have disappeared.”

 

“Shhh. Shhh.” Her grandmother soothed her, rubbing the top of her hand. “It’s okay. I know why you did it. And I don’t blame you for it.”

 

“Thank you…” Ali smiled through the soft tears in her eyes.

 

Behind her, her mother put her hand on Ali’s shoulder, letting her know it was time for someone else to have their time with grandma. Ali nodded over her shoulder and turned back to her gram.

 

“I have to go, Okay?” Ali smiled, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “I love you.”

 

She got up to leave but stopped as her grandma tightened her hand around Ali’s.

 

“Grandma, what’s the matter?”

 

It was only then that as her granddaughter held her hand as she lay in the hospital bed that she told her there was a key in her flat to a trunk in her bedroom. “Find the key.” She said. “In my bedroom there’s a trunk. Open it.” She grabbed her hand nodded. “You need to make things right. It’s time.”

 

* * *

 

A couple days had passed and still Ali had not gone to the apartment. It’s not that she didn’t want to, more so she didn’t know if she ready to know what was in the trunk. She never seemed to be ready…no matter how long she waited to be. She feared she would never be ready. But it was the fear that got her off of the chair and into her car. She creaked the old door open and flicked the lights on as she stepped inside. It was just as her grandmother left it. The newspaper was still laid out on the table next to a bottle of gin and a half full glass of tonic. The image of the bottle there and her grandmother sitting there with the glass in her hand made her smile. She took off her jacket and set in on the back of one of the kitchen chairs and walked into the kitchen. She removed a fresh bottle of wine from the cabinet and poured herself a hardy glass. She walked out onto the balcony and sat down, taking her time to finish the glass. As she threw back what was remaining in the glass she took a deep breath. If she wasn’t ready now, she would never be. Her grandmother was right, it was time.

 

_But time for what?_

 

She set the glass in the sink and began searching through all the drawers for the key her grandmother spoke of. Finally she found it in the drawer of the lamp table by the couch. In the bedroom she removed the trunk from underneath the bed and kneeled down before it. She looked at the key in the palm of her hand and closed her eyes for a moment and then she unlocked it. She lifted the lid and laying in the trunk were a small box, a bag of dried flower petals, an old teddy bear she recognized from her youth and a stack of bound letters. She reached for the letters and read the return address…

 

_Ashlyn Harris_

_513 Black Ridge Rd_

_Olympia, WA 98501_

Her mouth fell open as she suddenly began tearing at the binding to get it undone. The string broke and hundreds of letters scattered the floor and her knees. She picked up each letter and one after another she read the same name written across the back. _Ashlyn Harris._  She felt as if she couldn’t catch her breath. She went and got the wine bottle from the kitchen and brought a glass with her back to bedroom. She sat on the floor and poured a glass. She scooted the letters to the side as she reached inside for the box. There were pictures inside. The first few were of a blonde standing in different places all over the world, it was Ashlyn. She had done everything she had always said she would. She couldn’t help but smile and a tear even rolled down her cheek. She was happy for her. She was even more beautiful than the day she first saw her. But the smile quickly faded as she picked up the next picture. This woman she didn’t recognize. She had dark hair and dark eyes and was standing at a railing. In the next photo there she was again, only this time she had a hand resting on Ashlyn’s arm. Her hand was strategically placed to showcase the engagement ring on her finger. The smiles on their faces turned her stomach. She dropped the pictures back into the box. She took a sip of wine and picked up one of the letters, and one after another she read them. All of them.

 

That next morning she was woken up by knocks at the door and a voice calling her name, it was her brother. She sat up and it was then she realized she had fallen asleep on the floor of her grandmother’s bedroom. She got to her feet and went to the door.

 

“Holy Cow. What happened to you?” Kyle said as Ali opened the door.

 

“You have to see this.” She replied. She lead him back to the bedroom and picked up one of the letters.

 

“Ali what have you been doing all night! This place is a mess!”

 

“Just shut up and look at this.” She said holding out the letter. Kyle took it scrunched her face.

 

“I don’t understand, I have no idea who that is.” Ali leaned down and removed one of the photos from the box and handed it to her. Suddenly it all came back to him. “No fucking way…”

 

“I know.” She said taking the picture from him.

 

“You’re telling me grandma has kept in touch with her after all these years? This girl was the love of your life.”

 

Ali shook her hand and held her head. “What am I supposed to do? Grandma wanted me to find this stuff. What does she want me to do!”

 

“I think it’s pretty obvious what she wants you to do.” Kyle said reaching down for a letter. “She wants you to find her.” He handed her the letter, pointing to the address.

 

“I can’t just get on a plane and go to Washington, Kyle!”

 

“Yes, you can. And you’re going to.”

 

“This is crazy. Don’t you see how crazy this is! She engaged!”

 

“You and I both know that’s not what’s stopping you from going.” Kyle said. “Alex…You need to go Washington.”

 

“It’s nearly been years since I’ve spoken to her, let alone seen her…what makes you think she’d even want to see me or even remember me for that matter?”

 

“Because I remember the way she looked at you.” He said. “And why else would Ashlyn have secretly kept in touch with gram all these years? I mean, come on, Alex! Stop making excuses. You’re going to Washington.”

 

* * *

 

 A week  later Ali was on a plane. It was about a six hour flight to Seattle. The drive from the airport to Olympia was just a little over an hour. It was too late to try and drive to Ashlyn’s house now so she stopped and got a motel room for the night. But tomorrow would be the day… After she showered and got in her bed, she called her sister and told her that she made it there safely and that she got a room for the night and would drive to the house tomorrow. She hung up the phone, and turned off the desk lamp and tried to sleep but she couldn’t. There was far too much on her mind and she couldn’t quite quiet her thoughts; how could she?

 

By noon the next day she was back on the road and now only minutes away from seeing Ashlyn. It felt as if someone had set a fire in her chest as well as she had swallowed a lead pipe. What would she say? What would Ashlyn say? She turned onto Black Ridge Rd and it suddenly all became real. She was really doing this. She gripped the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned white. She watched out intently for the house number 513, but she’s been driving this road for at least 2 miles and she’s only passed one house. And then there it was. Posted at the opening of single narrow drive were the numbers 5.1.3.. The driveway must have been another mile or so long but as she reach the end it came to somewhat of a clearing. She pulled over, off the drive and stepped out of her car. She could see a there was a rather large cottage peeking from behind two very large evergreen trees. The cobblestone sides were cloaked in vines and growing greenery. It was beautiful. She walked around to the front of the house and peered in the window and saw no one inside. She knocked at the door, and even after several tries, there was no answer. How could it be that she traveled all this way for nothing. She had no idea how old those letters were…she may not even live here now…

 

Just as she turned to step away from the door she heard a voice.

 

“Hello.” She turned and there she was. Her loose black shirt was dirty and she had gloves on her hands. Her blonde hair was longer than she remembered, and it was tied back, out of her eyes. She had tattoos all down her arms. She froze… “Can I help you find something? You look a little lost.” Her voice was soft and strong. Tranquilizing. Ali brushed her hair back behind her ear and swallowed hard, trying to conjure up words…any words. “Miss? Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” She said. “It’s just…you look so different.”

 

Ashlyn furrowed her brows and shook her head lightly.

 

“Pardon my ignorance Miss, but I-“ Ashlyn stopped herself as she suddenly realized who the woman standing before her was. “Alex…..”

 

“Yeah. It’s me.” Ashlyn slowly began walking towards her and just as she got within in arms reach, Ali fall into her. Ashlyn placed a strong arm across her back and a gently palm against her head.

 

“I never thought I’d see you again.”

 

Ali said nothing, she just buried her head further into Ashlyn’s neck. And then Alex felt something hit her check, and then she felt another, and then Ashlyn did to. And just as like falling asleep, the rain came slowly and then all at once. They both looked up at the sky and suddenly began to laugh. Lightening cracked in the distance and Ali jumped and screamed while Ashlyn just smiled. “Follow me!” She grabbed Alex’s hand and lead the way as they ran, hand in hand, around the house, through the garden, to the back door. Ashlyn pushed the door open and held it to allow Alex to walk through. She closed the door behind both of them and locked it. The inside of Ashlyn’s house was just as she would have imagined it. The symmetrical bookcases flanking the fireplace, the chair setting by the window next to a table where an open book and an old telephone sat. The artesian rug resting beneath their feet and the endless greenery that, what looked to be placed randomly, but knowing Ashlyn, was placed ever so carefully throughout the house.

 

“I’m going to grab us some towels. Make yourself at home.” Ali nodded.

 

She watched as Ashlyn walked back the hallway and disappeared into a room before she walked over and sat down on the cool grey sofa. As Ashlyn came back into the living room and saw Alex sitting there on the sofa, she froze for a moment. She smiled. As she came closer, Ali heard her footsteps and turned. “I brought you some extra clothes. I’m sure you brought some of your own, but I see you parked rather far away. Once the rain settles down, I’ll run out and grab your bags.”

 

“Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.” Alex said as she took the towel and clothes.

 

“I know.” She said before gesturing down the hallway. “The bedroom is just down the hall there on the left. I’ll be here.” Ali nodded and walked back to the bedroom.

 

Out in the kitchen, Ashlyn began filling up the teakettle at the sink. She turned on the stove and set the kettle down on the burner. In the bedroom, Ali hadn’t even begun to change yet. Instead she found herself wandering about the room. As she walked past it, she ran a hand along the wrought iron frame of the bed. Behind the curtain she looked out the window to find the garden just outside. She allowed the sheer white fabric to fall back in place as she stepped over to the dresser. Atop the surface laid a watch with a black leather strap, a watch she recognized. She picked it up and tilted it back and forth, allowing the light to glint off the glass. She set it down and picked up the old camera setting next to, also something she recognized. She reached for the bottle of cologne and brought it to her nose and she smiled at the familiar smell. The smell of leather, sandalwood and oranges. She couldn’t believe that after all these years, she was still the same Ashlyn. She then walked over the closet. She carefully pulled open the doors to find all of Ashlyn’s jackets, shirts. As she fingered through them all, she stopped at one. A faded, grey, denim jacket. She pushed back the rest of the clothes and saw the hole ripped just below the left shoulder pocket and she laughed. It was the jacket Ashlyn had bought herself to give to Alex once she left…only Alex left before she ever had the chance to give it to her. The hole was from Ali, she snagged it on a truck mirror while they were out with friends one night, back in high school. She shut the closet doors and finally began peeling off her wet clothes to change.

 

Ashlyn watched as Ali stepped back into the living room draped in her dark t-shirt and shorts and it was if her heart saw her as well because it tripped in her chest and fell into her stomach. She masked it with a smile. “I made tea. Would you like some?”

 

“Yes, please. Tea sounds wonderful right now.”

 

“As you wish.” Ashlyn spoke under her breath as she poured another cup. Alex heard her, but said nothing.

 

As they sat in living room around the potbelly stove, for the first time in nearly a decade, they talked. They talked like they used to; just as they always had.

 

“My grandma,” she answered to Ashlyn’s question of how she found her. “She’s not well. When I went to visit her in the hospital she told there that she had a key in the house that I need to find to open the trunk in her room. So I found the key and in the trunk I found-“

 

“My letters.” Ashlyn finished and she nodded.

 

“There were pictures too. Pictures of you all around the world, pictures of your art, and pictures of you with a woman-” Ashlyn looked up at the ceiling and nodded.

 

“We’re not still together if that’s the question.” That response took Ali off guard. She was slightly offended at the assumption but even more surprised at the answer.

 

“You were engaged.” Ali reminded her, but Ashlyn needed no reminder.

 

“We were.”

 

“What happened?” Alex asked. Ashlyn raised her mug to her lips and took a sip and then stood up.

 

“Would you care for more tea?” She said, blatantly avoiding the question and they both knew it. Ali shook her head and handed her the mug.

 

“No, thank you. I think It’s getting pretty late and I’m about ready for bed.” She wasn’t really tired at all, and frankly, she could’ve drank another cup of tea. But she knew Ashlyn, and she knew that it was time to drop the conversation and leave her be, after all, Ali was the guest here and knew if she pushed any further that it would become an even bigger intrusion.

 

“The bedroom is yours, I’ll take the couch.” Ashlyn said walking past her with an armful of blankets.

 

“No, Ash,” Ashlyn stopped and looked to her and Ali froze as she realized what she just let roll off her tongue, but she had to pretend like it was nothing. “You don’t have to give up your bed.”

 

“I know I don’t. But I am. Please, Alex, take the bed.”

 

She didn’t argue any further and walked back to the bedroom. She peeled back the black linen sheets and crawled between them. Every effort she made to fall asleep was futile, for all she wanted was to be lying next to her..

 

The next day, after breakfast, Ashlyn proposed she take Ali for a scenic tour around Olympia to get them out of the house.

 

At the door, Ashlyn directed Alex to wait for a moment while she went and got the car. As Alex waited, a few moments later, Ashlyn comes from around the house on a motorcycle, holding out a helmet for Alex to take.

 

“Are you serious!” Alex exclaimed before she let out a cheerful laugh. “You did always say you wanted a bike.”

 

“And now I have one.” She motioned with her head from Alex to climb on. “Come on, you’re going to love this.” Alex smiled and took the helmet. Once she got situated on the back Ashlyn put the bike in gear. “Hang on to me.” Alex wrapped her arms tightly around Ashlyn’s waist.

 

_I will_ , she spoke under her breath.

 

The beautiful trees were almost a blur as the road beneath the tires quickly vanished behind them. Ali threw her arms up and out like a bird. For the first time in years, she felt free.

 

As they entered into the town, the world finally seemed to slow down. Cruising along by the boats docked in the harbor and the all smiling people, she imagined of what a life here would be like. She tightened her grip around Ashlyn’s waist and she turned head slightly at the pressure, beneath her helmet, a smile danced across her lips. As the two of them road through town, everyone seemed to stop what they were doing and look. Amongst themselves and to one another they spoke.

 

_Who’s the girl on Ashlyn’s motorcycle? Is it her?_  

 

Ashlyn pulled the bike in front of a small café and left Ali off to go on in while she went and got gas just across the street. A woman sitting inside the café watched as Alex got off the bike and walked in. She followed her with her eyes to where she sat down and she sat quietly, finishing her coffee, before walking over to the table.

 

“Mind if I sit?” She asked. Ali didn’t have much of a choice when the woman clearly had already made herself at home in the seat across from her.

 

“No, not at all.” She said.

 

“I’m Danny. You’re not from here, are you?” the woman introduced herself, extending her hand.

 

“Ali. And no, I’m not. I’m just in town for a few days visiting.” Danny looked across the street at Ashlyn and smiled.

 

“Visiting.” The woman turned back to Ali with that magnetic smile. “I’m sorry, I know it’s strange for a stranger to just come over like this, but I just had to meet you.”

 

“Meet me? You must have me confused with someone else. I-“

 

“You came here with Ashlyn. I’ve lived in this town my entire life and never have I seen your face before. Tell me, you must be her. You’re the girl from all those years ago.” Ali froze and shook her head as she searched for something to say, but she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “It’s a small town. And I have to say, you’re kind of a celebrity around here.”

 

“Is that a good thing?”

 

The woman laughed. “I wouldn’t say it’s really a good thing or a bad thing. But when you break a heart like Ashlyn’s- I mean, the woman is practically made of stone. But you, you really shook her. I even heard she was engaged and called it off because she always hoped one day you would come back. And now, here you are.”

 

“She called off her engagement? Because of me?”

 

“She sure did.”

 

They both turned as they heard the rumble of Ashlyn’s bike pull in front of the café.

 

            “I should go.” Danny said getting up. “Enjoy the rest of your trip.” She smiled and just like that, she disappeared as quickly as she appeared. By the time Ashlyn entered the café and sat down across from Ali, she was gone.

 

            “Did you have a chance to look over the menu?” Ashlyn asked. Ali cleared her throat trying to dismiss what had just happened from her mind.

 

            “Yeah..”

 

* * *

 

Later that night, back at the house, Ashlyn was sitting out in the garden smoking a cigarette while Ali was inside getting her clothes together; she was to be leaving tomorrow… And honestly, she was starting to feel as if she wasn’t quite ready to leave. She threw the folded shirts down onto the bed and walked outside to the garden. When she rounded the corner, she could see all the flowers before her, illuminated by the soft glow of the moon. Suddenly she felt as if someone had dug a hole in her chest. She knelt down and ghosted her hand over the bright yellow petals. They were her favorite…they were the flowers that she had given Ashlyn the night she graduated from high school. She lifted her gaze and a few rows up, there were orange and pink carnations, and behind those were white roses, and just beyond those, right next to where Ashlyn was sitting, were the soft purple narcissus flowers. Flowers that Ashlyn had presented to her the first day they met. Suddenly all Ali felt was a rush a guilt that flooded her veins like a damn breaking. Little did she know, Ashlyn felt the same. Because just as the guilt took over the expression and Ali’s face, Ashlyn looked over to her. She felt guilty for making her feel guilty. She should’ve known what the flowers would remind her of. Then again, she didn’t think Ali would ever be here to see them. Ashlyn stood from where she sat and Ali began to walk toward her, a single yellow flower in her hand. She met Ashlyn’s eyes and the tears began to well. “I remember.” She spoke softly. “Ashlyn, I never forgot.” Ashlyn placed a gentle thumb on her cheek and wiped the tear from her face.

 

“You’re too beautiful to cry.” She whispered.

 

“It was you who told me there is beauty in pain.” Ali said softly and Ashlyn smiled.

 

“Only when it is you who bleeds.”

 

Just then, Ali crumbled to her knees and Ashlyn followed, holding tightly to her arms. Ali laid there in her arms and cried. “I’m sorry.” She said. “I’m so sorry.” With Ashlyn’s strong arm around her, she felt safe. She felt like she could finally let it all go. Ashlyn knew how she was. She’d rather keep this pain to herself and let it kill her than ever let anyone see it. But she couldn’t keep it to herself anymore. “I’m such a mess. I’m so fucked up!” She yelled. “What’s wrong with me?” As she continued to cry, Ashlyn remembered something she had told her long ago; a poem, and she began reciting it as she held her in arms.

 

“Whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun,” Ali lifted her head at the familiar words and Ashlyn guided her gaze with a light finger under her chin. “or the nights you collapse into my lap; your body broken into a million questions,” she brushed the hair back from Ali’s face. “you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I will love you when are a still day. I will love you when you are a hurricane.”

 

In that moment, Ali knew what she wanted. And even more so, she knew what she needed. She placed a hand against the sharp line of Ashlyn’s jaw, and slowly, she tilted her head up to find her lips. Ashlyn’s eyes squeezed shut at her touch and a tear rolled down her cheek. She rested her forehead against hers and they both took a moment. A moment to think. But, between the two of them, there was nothing to think about. Ashlyn slid her arm under Ali’s legs and with the hand resting on the small of her back, she stood with her tight against her chest. Her head fell heavy against her shoulder and her arms hung lightly around her neck. Their bodies haven’t touched this closely in nearly a decade, but the warmth so familiar, it was if no time had passed at all.

 

* * *

 

The cool dark sheets sent a shudder through her body as Ashlyn laid her down onto bed. Their eyes, never parting. To Ashlyn, looking at her was like seeing a lighthouse on the shore after being stranded at sea for years. As Ashlyn lifted her shirt up over her head, the tattoos on her skin, the ones Ali had never seen, told the story she never knew. In Samoan, tattoo means ‘open wound’. Looking at the images on her body now, she knew just how true that was.

 

That night was the first time Ashlyn and Ali had shared a bed in nearly 13 years.

 

* * *

 

The light that peeked through the window danced along Ali’s cheek, feeling it’s warmth, her eyes slowly opened. She turned over to find Ashlyn still asleep beside her. The soundness of sleep lay like a disguise over her body. She looked young, as she did years ago. She reached a hand out and softly ran her finger over the lines permanently embedded in her skin. The lines delicately placed to create the perfect portrait of a woman. However perfect and beautiful the woman was, the lines across her face spoke the unspoken. Her face appeared to have been shattered, cracked. But she was still so beautiful. “You’re tattoos tell quite a story.”

 

“I would hope so.” Ashlyn replied. “Funny thing is, I probably don’t need to explain them to you.” Ali shook her head.

 

“No, you don’t.” She smiled. She leaned over and kissed her. “I know the story well.”


	2. I Had To Get Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long! I just wanted to make sure I knew where I wanted to take this story. This chapter is a little shorter, but it's setting the story up for down the road. Thanks for coming back!

"What time is your flight?” Ashlyn asked Ali as she watched her slowly begin to sit up from the bed.

“This afternoon.” She replied. “12:15.”

Ashlyn brought her wrist to her eyes to read her watch. It was quarter til eight. She stretched out her arms and let her body fall heavy, sinking further down in the sheets.

“Come back with me…” Ali said looking at her. Her face was serious but almost unreadable.

“What?” Ashlyn was confused. Ali couldn’t be serious. What happened last night was….amazing, but how could she be serious about wanting Ashlyn to leave with her.

“Come back to New York with me.”

“Ali-“ Ashlyn stopped her. “Slow down. We haven’t even had our coffee yet.” She laughed, but Ali was still serious.

“Come back with me.”

* * *

 

Out in the kitchen, Ashlyn was making breakfast when she heard the shower turn off, and soon after, heard Ali padding across the wooden floor and into the kitchen.

Ali took a seat up at the counter on one of the high stools, waiting for Ashlyn to say something. Ashlyn really hadn’t said anything all morning since what Ali had proposed earlier…and that worried her. She feared she came all this way only to ruin what she came to mend.

“Oh,” Ashlyn said turning away from the stove and setting a mug in front of Ali. “I got your coffee for you.”

Ali got up from her stool and went directly to the cabinets and began hunting around for something.

“It’s already in there.” Ashlyn said without taking her focus off of the skillet in her hands. Ali stopped. “The hot chocolate, I already mixed it in.” Ali slowly shut the cupboard and quietly sat back at the counter and took a sip from the mug. “And before you say anything, I only remembered because you’re the only person I know to take their coffee like that. It’s kind of a hard thing to forget.”

Ali didn’t say a word, she just sat there and finished her coffee as Ashlyn finished cooking the eggs. Ashlyn didn’t say anything either, but her and Ali both knew that she was lying.

_That wasn’t the only reason she remembered._

* * *

 

Later that morning, while Ali was getting her things together for her flight, Ashlyn came into the bedroom and sat on the side of the bed. The look on Ashlyn’s face said everything that she didn’t, and Ali knew that she had made up her mind.

“Look,” Ali started. “It’s okay. I understand. You don’t have to expl-“

“I’ll go to New York with you.”

Ashlyn couldn’t believe what she was saying any more than Ali believed she was hearing it.

“I’ve thought about it and…I’ll go back with you.” Ali’s face lit up.

“What made you decide?”

“You came all this way, for what, I’m not exactly sure yet…and if I go back with you to New York, I’ll only be closer to figuring it out.” Ashlyn said and she found Ali’s eyes. “And I think you need to figure it out too.”

Ashlyn was right, and Ali would never say, but she knew it. So instead of agreeing or disagreeing, she simply gave a subtle nod and finished packing her clothes into her suitcase. Ashlyn got up from the bed and pulled her bag out from the closet and began pulling out clothes from her drawers and tossing them into the bag. As she dug through her drawers, in the very back, underneath her socks she saw the box she had placed there years ago. She made sure that Ali didn’t notice as she grabbed the box and slipped it into her bag along with the socks.

By the time they arrived at the airport, the mood between the two of them was very different. Just those few hours in the car was enough for the two of them to realize who each other was to one another and everything they had been through, all the places they’ve went side by side in Ali’s old junker as kids. It was as if everything had come back to them, or least, enough came back to them to give them what they needed to allow each other to finally relax and stop being on edge all the time. The flight wasn't too bad, they both fell asleep so it seemed to go by rather quick. When they landed in New York, a cab was already there to pick them up. As Ashlyn sat in the back of the cab, with ali sitting there beside her, she really couldn't believe that any of it was real. She was really in New York City with Ali. If you had told Ashlyn a week ago that this would be happening she would have told you to check back into the psych ward because you were clearly out of your mind. But it is real. This is really happening.

* * *

 

The town car pulled up alongside the curb outside of a beautiful brownstone apartment and Ali stepped out, turning to give Ashlyn an encouraging smile. Ashlyn stepped out of the car, the leaves on the trees were all different colors and they fell to the ground like an early autumn snow. Ali watched Ashlyn’s eyes as the followed the leaves that danced through the air before landing lightly onto the sidewalk.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” Ashlyn turned to Ali as she saw the brunette watching the leaves as well. “The leaves are my favorite here. Well…my second favorite.” She smiled. “Come on, I’ll show you the house.”

Ashlyn grabbed the bags from the back of the car and followed Ali up the steps to the door.  Ali pushed open the heavy wood door and disappeared into the foyer, but Ashlyn stood, frozen in the threshold staring off into the house. She could hear Ali’s voice from another room, but it was all just blurred mumbles. She looked down at her shoes and closed her eyes. She knew that the second she crossed through and stepped into the house that there was no going back. She knew that if she stayed here, even if it were just for tonight, if she stayed her with Ali…she wouldn’t be able to leave.

“Ashlyn.” Ashlyn didn’t even hear her walk into view and her voice startled her out of her daze. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”

Ashlyn watched her feet as she stepped through the door frame and into the house. She met Ali’s eyes and smiled.

“Nothing.” She said. “Nothing’s wrong.”

* * *

 

Just as they got all of their things settled into Ali’s apartment, the sun was going down. Ali looked down at her watch and squealed before she grabbed Ashlyn’s hand and began pulling her out onto the roof.

“You have to see this.”

Ali lead Ashlyn out onto the roof and over to the edge. The New York City skyline was just a black silhouette against the dying light, but it was perfect.

“Wow…” Ashlyn whispered. “You can see the whole city from here. It’s beautiful.” Ali was smiling, looking off at the sky as if it were some grand piece of art. In a way, I guess it kind of was.

“Just wait,” Ali said. “That’s not even the best part.”

Ashlyn looked over to her and saw the pure admiration on her face, such love in her eyes. After a few minutes of silence, Ashlyn was about to say something when Ali stopped her by looping her arm through hers and leaning into her shoulder.

“Ali, what are we wai-“

“Shhhhhhhhhhh,” she whispered. “watch.”

Ashlyn looked out over the city, and all of a sudden it was as if someone had flicked a domino of light. One after another, block by block, street by street, the city lit up. Almost in a perfect wave, the lights came on. The black silhouette was now a glowing new world. Ali could feel Ashlyn quickly breathe out as she saw what had just happened before her. She gently tightened her grip around Ashlyn’s arm and smiled.

“That…”Ali said quietly. “That is my favorite thing here. The lights. They are so beautiful.”

Ali was looking at the city, but Ashlyn was looking at her.

"Yeah...she is." Ashlyn whispered.

"Do you remember when we used to sneak out onto the roof of your parents house and just stare up at the stars?" Ali asked and a warmth flooded Ashlyn's chest at the memories. 

"Of course I remember." The corners of Ali's lips curled up into a smile.

"You would always make up stories about the stars. Why some are brighter than others, why they are always in the same place and how they got there. Those were my favorite stories." Her voice faded into a whisper. "And you used to tell me that I hung I moon and lit all the stars when  I smiled."

"I can't believe you remember that."

"When someone tells you something like that, especially a person like me...that's something you always keep with you."

Ashlyn looked up into the sky and thought for a long time before she spoke.

"I want to show you something." Ashlyn said. "I'll be right back."

Ashlyn walked off the roof and disappeared into the house and a few minutes she came back out, that small box in her hands.

"What is that?" Ali asked.

Ashlyn motioned for her to come over to sofa bed that Ali kept out on the roof. Ali came over and sat next to Ashlyn and she asked her again.

"Ashlyn, what is this?"

Ashlyn lifted back the lid and Immediately Ali's smile dropped from her face as she looked into the box. Inside the box were poems and short journal entries, receipts and ticket stubs, pictures and flower petals...everything that Ashlyn had kept since high school. Everything that Ali and her had done together. Ashlyn reached inside and removed a glass ornament from the bottom of the box and handed it to Ali. It was painted blue and had a white angel and it. Across the top were the words 'Reach For The Stars'.

"This is what I wanted to show you." Ashlyn said. 

Ali took the ornament from her and smiled at the familiar object.

"I gave this to you that first weekend we had together. I got this up at camp. I was so excited to give this to you. I cant believe you kept this."

"I kept everything." Ashlyn looked down into the box. She removed on of the envelopes. July 1 was written across the back. She opened it and removed all the pictures from that day. It was the last day they together. Ali looked don at the pictures and the look on her face looked as if she had just been punched in the stomach.

"I never forgot either, Alex." Ashlyn whispered. 

* * *

 

As the night grew old, they laid there in silence. Just being in the moment with each other. Ali was on the edge of sleep when opened her eyes at the soft rumble of Ashlyn's voice.

"Where did you go?" Their voices were barely above whispers now as they laid out under the stars. “Ali, where did you go..” Ali took a deep breath and shook her head.

“I didn’t know what I was doing…I was so lost. I felt like everyone had these expectations of what I should be and who I should be and I…I had to get away.” Ali turned to face Ashlyn, who was lying on her side beside her. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“You just disappeared.”

“I came here.” She looked away from Ashlyn and stared off into the stars. “My uncle lives here. For the first few years, he let me stay with him and he’d even take me to work with him and showed me how marketing is done and a year or so later, I was working with him full-time. I was able to put away most of the money I earned, only used what I needed and pretty soon I had my own car and then after that I bought this place. I’ve been here ever since.” Ashlyn was quiet and Ali was quiet for a few minutes, but went on to fill the silence. “I guess I knew this was the only place I really had a chance. I knew I’d be far away from home, my parents, and I knew I wouldn’t know anybody here, besides my uncle, and that was so refreshing. It felt good to not worry about what other people wanted me to be, I could focus on what I wanted and doing what I needed to do to be the person I wanted to be. Nobody here had any expectations for me or opinions of me. Coming here, I had a fresh start. A clean slate. I had a chance to start my life over. If I would’ve stayed in Virginia, stayed in that house, I honestly don’t even know if I’d still be here. I needed to get out…I had to leave.” Ali pulled her arm up and wiped her eyes, Ashlyn hadn’t realized that she was crying.

Ashlyn wrapped her arms around Ali and held her tight. She knew there was nothing that she could say to take away the guilt that she was feeling. Although she was often good at providing solace to people through elaborate tales of strength and courage, this simply just wasn’t a case to where she thought it was appropriate. Because she knew Ali didn’t need that. What she did need was someone to be there, just a presence there with her, while she said aloud everything that welled up in her throat, burning like fire for years. Because nobody else would listen, because nobody else cared. She was just the spoiled rich girl from Virginia with the perfect family and beautiful home. She was spoiled, she was rich, and she did have a beautiful home, but her family was anything but perfect. And even though from the outside it looked like she had it all, she really had nothing because those material things didn’t matter to her, she would have given it all up and lived on the streets in exchange for a family that loved each other and supported each other. Ashlyn was the only one that knew this. Ashlyn was the only one who saw from the inside just how bad things were. Ali’s parents always struggled with her because she different, she just was. And then she met Ashlyn and suddenly the world made sense again. Ashlyn helped her deal with a lot of what nobody else would understand. Ali didn’t tell her parents right away that she was seeing Ashlyn, she was afraid to. Eventually her parents were able to take all of the pieces and put two and two together and they brought the world down on top of her. They kicked her out of the house multiple times, took her car, her phone, even had a priest come to house and talk to her. They put her through hell, but Ashlyn stayed and walked with her to the gates and walked with her through every depth of hell that they threw at them. Ashlyn was determined that they would make it out alive, all they had to do was stick it out until graduation, and then they were free. But just as graduation came, Ali disappeared.

* * *

 

In the morning, Ali woke up in her bed. She sat up quickly, confused. She doesn’t remember coming in here. The last thing she remembers is talking to Ashlyn outside and she knows she must have fallen asleep out there.

She slowly walked out into the living room but Ashlyn wasn’t there. She stepped across the house and peered into the kitchen, still she found no one. Quickly, the panic set in. She ran back into the bedroom and looked all around but she couldn’t find them. Ashlyn’s bags were gone.

_She was gone._

Ali changed her clothes and walked out onto the roof. It didn’t take long, soon the tears streamed down her face, one after another. Suddenly, something caught Ali’s attention. She stopped, and listened closely, but she shook it off and told herself that she must’ve been hearing things. But then she did hear it again. It sounded like someone had opened then closed the front door. Again, she stopped and listened.

“Ali?”

Ali walked across the roof and pushed open the doors and there, standing in the kitchen with a coffee carrier and a brown paper bag, was Ashlyn. Ashlyn smiled and set the food down onto the counter.

“You came back..”

“Of course I did. I went and got us breakfast.”

Ali walked over and wrapped her arms around the blonde. Ashlyn was confused.

“Well good morning to you too.” Ashlyn tried to pull away to look at her but Ali was holding her so tightly. “Alex, what’s wrong?”

“I thought you left.”

“What?” Ashlyn grabbed Ali shoulders and stepped back so she could see her. “What are talking about?”

“I woke up and you were gone. Your bags….” Ali said. “Your bags were gone.” Ashlyn laughed.

“I put my bags in the closet in the hallway. I thought they would be in your way if I left them in the bedroom.”

Ali just buried her face into her shoulder again and Ashlyn just held her. Did Ali really think that she would have just disappeared like that? Ashlyn could feel Ali’s heart beat against her chest, it was pounding. She really did. She thought Ashlyn had left her there. As Ashlyn held her there, standing in the kitchen, she knew exactly how Ali felt. She knew the feeling all too well…

* * *

 

When they finished breakfast, Ashlyn was sitting up at the counter. She rubbed her hands as her mind ran wild. She just didn’t understand. How could Ali have been so afraid that Ashlyn was gone, yet go years without ever speaking to her. Ali was the one that disappeared, not her. It was finally too much for Ashlyn and she finally broke her silence after 13 years.

“Did you know?” Ashlyn asked.

Ali looked up at her from across the table. They hadn’t been talking about anything and she was confused as to what Ashlyn was referring to.

“Know what?”

“The last day we were together, did you know that you would never see me again?” Ali’s heart sank.

“What?”

“Did you know? It's a simple question.”

“Ashlyn-“

“Did you know!” Suddenly Ashlyn’s voice was hard. After all those years, she wanted an answer. She was done wondering.

“Why does that even matter know!”

“Just answer the question! Did you know!” Ali just looked at her, begging her not to ask her again, but Ashlyn wanted to know. It’s the least she deserved. “Did you know!”

“Of course I knew!”

Ashlyn’s hard front quickly faded from her face as Ali’s words devoured her. Ashlyn already the answer to the question, but to actually hear was something much different.

“What…” Ashlyn voice was almost a whisper. But just as quickly as her anger faded away, it came right back. “Then why did you act like everything was fine! Everything was perfect! Why wouldn’t you come see me if you knew you were leaving! Why did you just disappear!”

“Because I would’ve changed my mind!” Ali’s response was quick and it start led both of them. The tears began to well in her eyes, and Ashlyn broke. She knew that if she pushed anything further Ali would break too. But she fears she already went too far. “I knew that the second that I saw you that I would have changed my mind. I would have stayed.” Ali began to cry. “I didn’t want to leave you…but I had to get away. I had to get out of that house. I couldn’t stay there.”

Ashlyn was beside Ali now, her arms wrapped tight around her. The tears now falling from Ashlyn’s cheek. Ashlyn ran a soothing hand across Ali’s back and slowly she calmed down. Her breathing steadied and the tears dried.

“I wanted to stay with you…but I had no choice.” Ali wiped her eyes a last time. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I don’t want you to think that it was easy for me.”

Ashlyn pressed her lips to Ali’s forehead and rested her own there.

“I know.” She whispered. “You did what you had to; what was best for you. I would never hold that against you. You had every right to be selfish.”

“I knew that when I found that stuff in my grandma’s apartment that I had a chance to make things right. I had a chance to finally have the life with you that I always thought I would have. That’s why I found you. That’s why I flew across the country. I had to find you.”

“And you found me.” Ashlyn felt Ali smile. “And I'm glad you did, because I've been waiting for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a hard one to write, I even shed a few tears myself writing it because i just got so wrapped up in the characters...but I'm a baby so. I hope you enjoyed it! Please, comment below and let me know your thoughts and hopes for future chapters.


	3. The Beautiful Awful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali's life begins to come full circle with Ashlyn around.

It was coming up and a week that Ashlyn and Ali had been back in New York, and things couldn’t have been more perfect. The sense of familiarity and the security was a sense new to them both, and it was nice. It was really nice. It was a healthy change.

As Ali was cleaning up in the living room, she stopped as she looked up and watched Ashlyn standing at the stove, cooking dinner. She was wearing these bright red boxers and a white t-shirt, her hair was tied back into the messiest knot Ali had ever seen, and she was wearing one of Ali’s aprons as she danced around and sang along, horribly off key, to Amber Run. Ali couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but looking at Ashlyn there, she felt that this was it. This is how it’s supposed to be. She finished folding up the blankets and dropped them into the basket beside the couch as she stepped into the kitchen and walked up behind Ashlyn, wrapping her arms around her waist, and burying her head into her back. Immediately Ashlyn started swaying her hips and singing louder just as the chorus hit, making Ali laugh.

“What are you doing?” Ali giggled.

Without missing a beat Ashlyn turned and took Ali by the hands, forcing her to dance with her as she sang the words to See You Soon. She spun her around and paraded her around the kitchen and all Ali could do was throw her head back and laugh.

“But there are things that you do, girl…oh like nobody else.” Ashlyn ran her hand through Ali’s long dark hair as she sang to her. “Like how your hair falls down you back.” Ali smiled and Ashlyn ghosted her thumb over the corner of her eye. “Oh how your eyes crease when you laugh…Oh how you don’t walk but you bounce… Oh how you don’t cry but you gasp…Let that be a lesson to you…That there’s depth but there’s distance too.” Her voice was almost a whisper now in Ali’s ear. “And that all you can do is say, I’ll see you soon.” Their foreheads were pressed together and Ali was trying to steady her heart. But she couldn’t. “Is say, I’ll see you soon….”

Ashlyn was just about to kiss her when they both jumped at the sound of the oven beeping. With their foreheads together, their noses toughing and the moment totally ruined, all they could do was smile.

“What did you put in the oven?” Ali was curious. She knew nothing about desert.

“I may or may not have made a blueberry pie.” Ashlyn smiled. “Why? Do you like blueberry pie?”

She knew it was Ali’s favorite.

Just like that, Ali closed the small distance between them and pressed her lips to Ashlyn’s. The kiss began to deepen and Ashlyn knew that if Ali kept going that she would be like putty in her hands. She broke away from the kiss to catch her breath, forcing Ali to find a new spot on her neck just below her ear.

“What about the pie-“ Ashlyn tried, but Ali was all out of mercy.

“Let it burn.”

That was all the more encouragement Ashlyn needed and in one smooth motion, she had Ali pinned against the counter.

* * *

 

 

“Can I ask you something?”

They were both lying in the middle of the kitchen now, on top of the marble island, staring up at the spiral painted ceiling. They had been there for some time since there was no longer any sunlight coming in from the window.

“You just did.” Ashlyn replied.

“What was her name? The woman you were engaged to?”

“Danny.”

Ali’s mouth fell open and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Ashlyn didn’t understand.

“I met her.” Ali said. “She came over and sat with me at the café that day you drove us into Olympia.”

Ali continued to laugh and Ashlyn couldn’t help buy join her.

“Well, she never was one for being subtle.”

The laughter eventually dissipated and soon it was quiet again. Ashlyn figured they should probably get up soon and reevaluate their dinner options, but she had a question of her own.

“Have you been home at all?” Ashlyn asked softly. Ali seemed to be confused.

“What do you mean? I am home.” She laughed.

“I mean home, home.” Ashlyn clarified. “To Virginia.”

Ali knew that Ashlyn knew what the situation was like with her family and in knowing that, she also knew that she would understand why she hasn’t even spoken to her mother since she left, let alone gone to visit. There have been many times that Ali has wanted to go back there, wanted to call her mother, but that’s just not the relationship she had with her, but it was the relationship  she wanted.

“No.” Ali said flatly. “I haven’t been home in years.”

Ashlyn was quiet, because just as Ali believed, Ashlyn understood why. Without saying anything, Ashlyn rolled over and hoped down off the island, finishing her shirt and slipping it on over her head.

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.” She adjusted her shirt before turning and placing her hands on Ali’s hips and with Ali’s help of a little hop, Ashlyn lifted her off the counter and to her feet. “Come on, let’s go exploring.” Ali smiled.

“Okay.” She replied.

“Your treat since you ruined my pie.” Ashlyn said sweetly, making Ali scoff. She bent down and placed a kiss on her nose. “I’m only kidding.”

* * *

 

Even though the sun had gone down hours ago, New York had never looked so beautiful, even in the darkness. They were in Greenwich Village now, and honestly forget about the darkness, because you could have set the whole place on fire and the ruins would still be beautiful. This was Ali’s favorite place to walk. The old brownstone apartments were enveloped in vines and every other one had the windows open with the most beautiful music coming from inside. No matter the time of day, here, it was alive. Like a beating heart of music and soul.

Ashlyn didn’t know when it happened but she looked down and saw Ali’s hand laced in her own. She subconsciously gave her hand a squeeze, and just as she did, they wind decided to pick up, sending Ali further into Ashlyn’s side. Ali looped her arm around the strong blonde’s and leaned into her shoulder, stealing all the body heat that she could from Ashlyn.

“Hey, are you alright?” Ashlyn looked up and saw there was a building with its lights still on. “There’s a place up here. We’ll go get you warmed up.”

They were too cold to read the sign outside and it was a little bit of surprise when they stumbled into an art gallery. Ali slowly strayed from Ashlyn’s body as she was totally captivated by the paintings hung on the walls. She had never seen anything like them in all her life. She had no idea what they meant or what their message was supposed to be, but somehow she understood them as if she had painted them herself. All of the paintings, were of women, but they weren’t just portraits, they something different. They painting that Ali stands before now, is a woman who’s face and body are covered in water and steam, like she’s standing in the shower and you’re looking at her through the glass. Ali had never really been a fan of art, but she had never seen art like this.

“These are incredible…” Ali called out just loud enough for Ashlyn too hear her across the room.

“Yeah, they really are.”

Ashlyn was on the opposite side of the gallery and the paintings over there were different but with the same principles. These paintings were of the woods with just the faintest ghost of woman’s face in the trees.

“I’m sorry, but we’re closed.” Ali and Ashlyn turned at the sound of the small voice walking in from the back.

“That’s my fault, I saw the light on and we only came in to escape the cold.” The woman nodded in understanding and Ashlyn turned her focus back to the paintings. “These are incredible. Do you know who the artist is?”

“You’re looking at her.” The woman said.

“You painted these?”

“All of them.”

Ashlyn turned and saw Ali, and she slowly made her way over to her. Ali was sitting on the ground, legs crossed and resting back on her hands. The woman and Ashlyn both looked to up to see which piece had captured her attention so fully. The woman smiled as she saw.

The painting on the wall was unlike all the others. All of the paintings in this gallery were so detailed and so lifelike that they almost looked like photographs, but this one, this one was anything but. It was a woman, but everything was blurred over, like someone had just given up and smeared the whole painting together. Ashlyn looked down at Ali and suddenly realized that she was crying and she instantly dropped to her knees beside her.

“Alex, what’s the matter?” Ali just nodded her head and reached up to curl her arm around Ashlyn’s neck.

“You’d be surprised how often that happens.” The woman said and Ashlyn looked at her confused. “This painting speaks to only the people who can hear it. The people who understand exactly what it is.”

“This was your moment.” Ali said wiping her eyes. “This was when you thought you would never be able to paint again.” The woman smiled softly and knelt down next to Ali on the other side.

“Yes.” The woman turned and looked over the whole gallery. “It’s called The Beautiful Awful. I painted all the water ones before it happened, and this,” she pointed to the blurred over painting. “you’re exactly right, this was my moment. I was so broken and so lost. I just simply had no desire to paint anymore and I truly never thought I’d be able to paint again.”

Ali and Ashlyn were now both facing the woman as all three of them sat in the middle of the floor of the gallery.

“I needed a new perspective, I need something, I didn’t know what. All my life I had painted indoors, painted people in enclosed spaces, trapped with within a single space. So the next morning, I packed up my supplies and walked into the woods. I had never been a landscape artist, but suddenly I found myself painting landscapes, but I was still so lost that I never took any of them home, I’d leave them in the woods and when I’d come back in morning, they’d be caked in bugs and the due had set into the paint and broke it up, but that was it. That’s what I needed. But the paintings were still missing something, they were missing that human connection.”

“So you painted that women into the landscapes.” Ashlyn added and the woman smiled.

“Yes. And in doing so, I set them free.” The woman was quiet for a moment. “When I lost my mother, I lost my best friend, I lost my heart, and I lost my inspiration. Losing her was awful. When I lost her I lost everything. But my new show, with the landscapes, is my most successful yet. So there is beauty in the awful. Something wonderful will always come from the horrible, and all we need to do is remember that. If I had never lost my mother, I would have never discovered this part of myself.” The woman focused on Ali now. “I don’t know what happened to you, and it’s none of my business. But I do know that not everyone comes in here and sees this painting as you have. Tears are not moved by beauty, they are moved by the awful that they hide. They are moved by feeling, not by seeing.”

After a few more minutes, they got up from the floor and shared the silence a little longer. When Ali looks at that painting, she sees herself. She sees her moment. Being broken and lost…feeling like you’ll never be yourself again because you lost everything. She lost her family, her life, her home, and she lost Ashlyn.

“How much for the painting?” Ali asked.

“I was afraid you’d ask that…this piece, along with a few others, are not for sale. I’m sure you understand.” Ali nodded and turned to Ashlyn, nudging her arm telling her she as ready to go. Ashlyn turned to the woman and held out her hand.

“Thank you-“

“Alyssa.” The woman accepted her hand.

“Thank you, Alyssa. For everything.”

“Of course.” She smiled and Ashlyn and Ali walked back onto the cold street.

* * *

 

Back at Ali’s apartment, Ashlyn came into the living room and set a bottle of wine on to the table and handed Ali a glass. As she relaxed back into the couch, Ali leaned into her and laid with her back against Ashlyn's chest. 

"I think it's time we go home." Ashlyn said quietly into the top of Ali's head. "That's where we belong...back where it started. We left something there, years ago and it's ready for us to come back for it. It’s ready for you to go back for it."

Ashlyn couldn't see Ali's face, but even if she could, it wouldn't offer much. Ali sat up for a moment and set her glass down onto the table. Ashlyn's chest tightened when Ali remained quiet. Then she turned and laid down beside her. Ali could hear the strong beat of Ashlyn's heart against her ear and she closed her eyes. After a few minutes, their heartbeats became in sync; became one, even stronger, beat. A strong and beautiful pulse that allowed them to draw each breath they drew. For a moment Ali wondered how she ever was able to breathe on her own.

Not a single bone in her body could fathom how Ashlyn had forgiven her, but at the same time, not a single bone in her body dared to question why. Because, in this moment, all that mattered was right now. And right now, Ali was ready to pick up the life she left behind. After seeing that painting and hearing Alyssa’s story, she was ready to breathe as she once did. For once in her life, she was finally ready.

 

"I'm ready." Ali whispered. "I'm ready to go home."

* * *

 

As Ali lies asleep on her chest, her body against hers, the soft and quiet breaths leaving her lips as she breathes in the soundness of sleep, Ashlyn realizes she has never felt more at home than she does right now. For 13 years she has been homesick. But not anymore. When Ali found her, she found something too. She found her home again.

When everything was happening with Ali and her parents, Ashlyn's family took her in and gave her a home. Ali didn't live with them, but it's not where you live that makes a place a home. Home is where you feel safe and where the people love you and support you. A place you know that you can always come to at the end of a long day. A place you are always welcome and a place where you will always belong. Ashlyn's mother had always told her, even at a young age, to never make homes out of people because they will almost always disappoint you. That people are complicated and they are no thing to call a home. But she was wrong. A person who leaves can still be home, because a person is no different than a house. There are people who make you feel safe, people who love you no matter your baggage, people you know you can always go to when you need someone to listen, people who make you feel like you belong. Those people are our homes. Just like house, they protect us from the storms life throws at us and they have that strong and sturdy foundation that keeps us grounded. Ashlyn's mother was wrong, but had she only realized that people are no different than a house, she'd see how many homes she's made out of people without ever giving it a second thought. Just like a home doesn't have to be where you live, a person doesn't always have to be present. Ali's grandmother knew this and so she never gave up. And as Ashlyn lies there with Ali now, even though she is miles away from Washington, she is home. 

Of course, she wonders if she's making a mistake and wondering if she should have forgiven Ali as quickly as she did but all that is obsolete to the fact that she knows, with no uncertainty that lying there with her, this is how it's supposed to be. Because the truth is, she had forgiven Ali the second she realized it was her standing on her doorstep 3 weeks ago. Because that's just what you do. You do it without fully understanding that you had a choice not to. You forgive them. And in doing so, you force them to realize that you are a home for them too. 

And it was time they built a home together.

It was time they went to see Ali’s parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? The artist and the paintings I've discussed are very real. Alyssa Monks is the painter behind the very captivating paintings in the series she calls 'The Beautiful Awful'. When I first learned of her and her work, I had just gone through 'my moment', and her paintings saved me. The painting that the was Alyssa's moment, the one that made Ali (and myself when I first saw it) cry is called Smear. When I started figuring out the story line for this, I knew that i wanted to incorporate that somehow- so here's what happened. I hope you enjoyed it, and if you need it- Please, go check out Alyssa Monks and The Beauty Awful. She even has a TedXTalk on Youtube and on Podcast. Thank you guys so much, and please let me know what you're thinking and what you want to see happen in future chapters. I love you guys.


	4. Supernova

It was a silent flight from Laguardia to Dulles. Both of their minds were carrying the weight of the past years and both still, had no idea what they were going in to. When Ali left, it wasn’t just her and Ashlyn’s relationship that was lost. They had a lot of rebuilding to do, and this meeting with her mother was going to be the hardest. She was a cruel woman.

It wasn’t a far drive to the hotel. Though, at 2 in the morning, it felt like hours. As soon as Ashlyn slid the key into the door and opened it, they both just collapsed onto the beds. After a few minutes, they were both sound asleep, face down, still fully clothed with their shoes on.

It was nearly noon when the two began to stir in the beds and not too long after they were both up, showered and in the lobby. They had slept through the complimentary breakfast so it was up to them to venture out and find it elsewhere. It ended up that a couple of coffees in Georgetown would be enough.

“What time do we have to be there?”

Ali brought her cup to her lips and looked out the window to the passing cars in the street. She was almost regretting coming here at all. She was just so terrified to be in that house again.

“Mom always has dinner started by 7. So if we can get there by quarter til we should be good.”

Ashlyn could hear the strain in her voice; she could see it in Ali’s eyes. She reached across the table and placed her hand on Ali’s and gave it a squeeze.

“We’re gonna be okay, kid.” Ashlyn always said that to her when they were young; sometimes it was the only thing that would settle her racing mind.

_They were going to make it through this dinner._

* * *

Ali’s parents sat at each head of the table, usually only the husband does this, but her mother was an authority of the house just as he was; perhaps even more so. That’s the person she was. Ashlyn and Ali were sitting opposite of Kyle and Grandma Krieger. Ashlyn sat on Ali’s right side, between her and her mother. Everyone else probably thought nothing of this, but to Ashlyn, it was psychological. It was strategic.

It didn’t take long for everyone to periodically look up from their plates to find other wandering eyes. It was very obvious that everyone was tiptoeing around one another. All of a sudden, the sound of silverware falling to a glass plate came from where Ali’s mother was sitting.

“If no one else is interested in started a conversation, I’d be more than happy to.” Deb was unamused and very obviously annoyed by this whole arrangement and had absolutely no intention of trying to hide it. She took a sip of wine and shot daggers at Ali. She may have had a few glasses too many and her words no longer had something stopping them. “How about we start with you, Princess. How about you tell me where you’ve been the past thirteen years.”

Ali swallowed the food in her throat and breathed.

“I’ve been in New York. With-“

“With my brother.” Deb interrupted. “Of course you have. He always did caudle you.” Deb wasn’t even trying to hold anything back. She was such a snake of a woman. Ashlyn clenched her jaw and swallowed hard, sitting at this table with her was like standing at the gallows. Sitting there, she felt like a teenager again; but not in the nostalgic way. “Thirteen years is a long time, do you at least pay your uncle rent?” She laughed to herself as she took another sip of wine.

“I have my own apartment.” Ali retorted with confidence.

“Ohhhhh, do you? And what about a job? Did you find yourself one of those too?”

“Yes, I did. I’m an executive in my marketing department. I actually do very well.”

It felt good to say these things to her mother, especially since all her life she told her that she would never amount to anything.

“Look at you. You really are a princess, aren’t you?” Deb’s smile was painful to see, and with a slight tilt of her head, her attention was now on Ashlyn. “And you. I remember you.” Deb looked Ashlyn up and down and shook her head with that snake of a smile still on her face. “Harris. I don’t remember your first name.”

_Bullshit._

“Ashlyn.”

Deb took a bite of her food and closed her eyes with satisfaction.

“ _Ashlyn Harris_. That’s right. I was just so used to referring to you as the dyke that was fucking my daughter.”

“Deborah Ann. Watch your mouth.” Grandma Krieger was trying to stay out of the conversation but she was going too far.

“What? Too soon?” Deb laughed alone. “Either way, I never did like your name. Always left a bad taste in my mouth.”

“Yours doesn’t exactly taste like strawberries either.” Ashlyn said before she had time to rethink it.

“Excuse me?” Deb scoffed. “Did you have something you wanted to say?” When Ashlyn didn’t say anything in response, Deb’s blood boiled even hotter. ”I’ve kicked you out of this house before, don’t think I won’t do it again.” At that point, Kyle had gotten up and walked out of the room. Ashlyn could feel Ali’s hand tighten around hers. “I didn’t like you thirteen years ago, what makes you think I’m going to change my mind now? You Harris’…always thought you were so entitled. The perfect family…that’s a joke. Your father was nothing but a slob and your mother nearly drank herself to death. It’s no wonder you turned out the way you did. Yeah, what great parents they were.”

Ashlyn had reached her peak. She threw back her chair and stood.

“What the hell would you know about parenting?” Ashlyn said sharply. “Your son nearly drank _him_ self to death when he wasn’t shoving a needle into his arm or snorting white powder up his nose,”

“Ashlyn-“

“It’s okay, Ali. It’s true.” Kyle said as he entered the dining area again, staying just in the archway.

“He was only able to clean himself up when he got away from you. And your daughter, Ali; my mother practically raised her because you kicked her out every time the sun rose and again when it set! No, my parents weren’t perfect people, but at least they didn’t abandon us when things got hard!”

“I kicked her out because of you!” Deb snapped. “Ali was all I had left! And you took her away from me!” Deb’s words unexpectedly got choked up in her throat. Everyone in the room stopped cold. Ashlyn cocked her head and lowered her tone.

“You’re kidding. That’s what this is about? That’s what this has always been about!”

“It was always Ali and I. Ever since she was little. Then she grew up… she met you and then suddenly it was all about Ashlyn. I’d come home from work, so excited to see her only to find a note on the counter saying that she would be home later. I knew she was with you. She was always gone. I didn’t even know what you looked like and I hated you. You took her away from me. I lost my daughter because of you…and I will never forgive you.”

“You lost your daughter because you couldn’t accept that she was happy without you. Losing her was your doing. I wanted Ali to be part of your life; I wanted to be part of your life, but you never even gave me a chance! You took one look at me and it might as well have been my death sentence! And you did the same to her.” Ashlyn gritted her teeth. She was not about to feel even an ounce of sympathy for this woman. “If you weren’t so self-righteous you would’ve been able to see that.”

Without another word and without skipping a beat, Deb took the backside of her hand across Ashlyn’s face as she stood up from her chair.

“That’s enough!” Ali slammed her hands down on the table now as she stood. “Mom, please. That’s enough.”

“Not even close, princess.” Deb snarled to Ali before turning her attention back to Ashlyn. “Why did you even come back here? Huh? I thought we had a deal.” Ali caught the words, but was too caught up in everything else to think anything of it.

“She found me.” Ashlyn returned coldly. “I did everything you asked.” This time, the words caught up to her.

“What….?” Ali choked out.

“I don’t care. A deal is a deal. Sixty-thousand dollars is a lot of money, even for this family.” Deb’s words were the pebbles against the glass. Ali’s stomach dropped.

“Stop! Everybody. Stop!.” Ali shouted before reaching for Ashlyn’s arm and forcing her to meet her eyes. “What the hell is she talking about? What deal?”

Ashlyn looked at Ali and clenched her jaw as she looked back at Deb who now had an even bigger smile on her face. At the time, it seemed harmless. To Ashlyn, it seemed like the right thing to do…the only thing she could do. However, looking at Ali now, she knows that she will not think the same.

“Ashlyn! Goddamnit, what deal?”

“A few weeks after you left, I came by your house…I just wanted to know where you were; I wanted to talk to you.” Ashlyn took a breath and swallowed the boulder in her throat. “I begged your mother to tell me but she’d have rather lit herself on fire than help me find you. Then out of nowhere, in the middle of the conversation she asked how my mom was doing. Now after you disappeared, she got bad again. Really bad…and your mom knew it. So she made me a deal. If I left Virginia and didn’t pursue you any further or go looking for you, she would pay for my mother to get the help she needed. If I tried to find you, she was going to have you sent away. And so I took the money.” The tears that ran down Ali’s cheek; each one felt like a bullet in Ashlyn’s chest. “Ali, I didn’t have a choice…”

“Well there ya go, princess. Now you really know your worth to her.”

Ali turned back to Ashlyn and pushed away her hand as she reached for her.

“No…” Ali’s voice was nothing but exasperated breath.

“Ali, wait- I thought I was doing the right thing…. I was a kid. I was scared for my mother. I was scared for you-“

“DON’T!”

“Ali, Listen to her. You know how impossible the situation was.” Kyle tried to calm her down and make her look at it in the right light, but Ali was fogged by an incomprehensible feeling of betrayal that made even breathing difficult. Ali just looked at him and shook her head, still in disbelief, before meeting Ashlyn’s eyes again.

“She offered to pay you off….to forget about me and you, you took the money.“ Every breath that escaped her lungs drew heavier and heavier each time. Her next words nearly collapsed her lungs. “How could you?” Ali grabbed her coat from the back of her chair. “Don’t follow me.” Of course, as she headed for the door, Ashlyn was right behind her.

Deb stood at the head of the table, still, without even the slightest hint of regret or remorse on her mind. She fed off of the pain unraveling before her.

“You are toxic.” Deb’s mother, who had done her best to keep her peace throughout the evening was sick to her stomach looking at the snake-like expression on her daughter’s face as she watched Ali leave and Ashlyn chasing after her. “I didn’t raise you like this.” Deb slowly dropped her gaze to find her mother seated off the right of her. “That girl, no matter how old she was, every time she found even a sliver of happiness or hope, you always came in and snatched it away. I’m disappointed in you…” Slowly the old woman lifted herself from her chair. She walked over to her daughter and stared her in the eyes. It was funny, for a moment it looked as if Deb might break, as though the woman made of stone was really only made of glass. “You disgust me.”

It was only Kyle and Deb in the room now. The temperature of his blood rising with each second more that he shared in the same space as her. It had been years since he wanted to taste the bottom of a bottle…then again, it had been years since he’s had to be under this roof.

“Ali, please! Stop!” Ashlyn pleaded as she quickly came to the hood of the car. Ali could barely keep her hands steady enough to unlock the door. Ashlyn came to her side and reached for her again, desperate, but again, all too quickly, Ali’s palm met the same spot on her cheek that her mother’s did. Ali could see the pain in Ashlyn’s eyes, however, the burning in her cheek didn’t even compare to the burning hole in her chest. “Alex…”

“You were supposed to come find me.” With one light flutter of her eye, the tears rolled down Ali’s cheek. “I wanted you to come find me. I waited for you. Hoping. Praying with what little faith that I had left that you would find me…” Ashlyn felt like a star collapsing into itself. Suddenly, as the next wave hit, Ali started hitting Ashlyn, pushing her away. Letting out everything that she had left. “This wasn’t how this was supposed to be!”

Kyle came running down to the car and wrapped his arms tightly around Ali, restraining her.

“Alex! Stop. Stop!” Kyle finally got her calmed down and Ali turned in his arms and buried her head in his chest, crying. He looked up at Ashlyn. Her face was pale and white, her eyes; dead. She looked almost petrified. Finally she met his eyes. “I’m going to take her home, with me. Go back to the hotel and I will call you tomorrow, okay?”

All Ashlyn could get out in response was a nod. As Kyle walked Ali over and got her into his car, Ashlyn was still sitting there along the curb. She watched the car until the brake lights were merely dots in the darkness before she got in the car and pulled away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me. Life is just crazy, i wanted to have this uploaded awhile ago but I was never happy with it. But here it is! Finally. I have the next chapter almost finished as well, so you can expect another update soon. Thanks for sticking around and reading. I love you guys. For those of you who celebrate- I hopw you have a lovely Easter weekend!


	5. At least we'll always have this

Ashlyn didn’t go back to the hotel. Somehow the roads seemed to pull her along and soon she found herself sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store where she first saw Ali. A half empty bottle of whiskey sat in her passenger seat.

She rested her arms across the steering wheel and bowed her head onto them. She felt like she was going to be sick, and she wasn’t sure if it was the fact that she may have just lost Ali, again, or the half bottle of whiskey she guzzled down probably too quickly. Either way, she could feel it creeping up her throat. She opened her door and swung her legs out and buckled over as she emptied the contents of her stomach rather violently. She stared at the rough pavement at her feet and part of her wanted to get up and throw the whiskey bottle through the window of the place for ever bringing Ali into her life. As if it were the building’s fault. Maybe it was the building’s that fault that they met, but it wasn’t its fault that she fell in love with her. The only person or thing to blame for that was herself and I guess that truth is what kept her from getting up.

Just as the roads took her to the grocery store, they were now taking her to the high school. It was smaller than she remembered. Pulling up to it now, it was recognizable, but that was it. It was just recognizable; like an old relative in a photograph.

She drove around to the front of the school and pulled into one of the spots and got out. The school that used to be red brick was now more of a burnt orange…faded by the years that had passed; worn down.

She figured it was a long shot, but since she was here she couldn’t resist not at least seeing if the doors were locked. When she pressed down the lever and the door gave, she for a moment thought it must be the fading intoxication playing tricks on her mind. It was only as she stepped through the threshold and was standing in the lobby that she knew it was real.

Ashlyn was no stranger to the quiet, and to emptiness. She lived alone in solitude for many years, but this; this was something much different. There is no silence quite like the silence of a place that should be everything but. She knew that during the day this place was alive; buzzing with frantic students and teachers trying their best to maintain control of all of them, like a bunch of bees in a busy hive. She remembers what it was like to be part of that. Having to wade through the oceans of people to simply get to her next class. It was always a nightmare when the period bells rang. The classroom doors opened like a pair of flood gates bursting; allowing the students to flood the hallways and dam up the stairwells. But not now. It was almost foreign how desolate it was. The halls were bare and the floors, freshly cleaned and polished. It was beautiful; the peacefulness.

She walked by her old locker and although it had a lock on it; she remembered her combination. She turned the dial right…then left…and right again. She lifted up on the lever and the door swung free. She couldn’t believe she remembered it after all these years; especially in the state she’s is now. However, she threw up most of what she drank and with every minute that passed, the world was slowly becoming clearer. She opened the door as far as it would go and ran her hand along it’s cold metal edge. There was a spot on the center of the inside of the door that she could tell had a newer coat of paint than the rest. She laughed and shook her head; she knew what it was. She took her fingernail and slowly started to chip away the paint. It didn’t take long to reveal the words beneath. It was her own name, and under hers was Ali’s, encircled in a heart. She could still feel the indentation of the words in the metal as her finger softly ghosted over them. They were fossilized into the metal, forgotten to time and covered by paint. But she knew it would be there forever. Even if they replaced the lockers and threw this one out, it would still be there, wherever it ended up. ‘ _At least we’ll always have this_ ’ she whispered to herself.

She walked out the back doors and started towards the soccer fields. The school’s campus stretched nearly 3 square miles and all of the sports field were on site. The football field was the first she passed by, then the baseball field and finally she reached the soccer fields. The grass was cold and damp; the dew that had fallen from the air creating a field of stars as the lights shined down on it. She trekked across the field and climbed onto the bleachers. They were just as cold and creaky as they were years ago. She never did understand why anyone ever thought aluminum bleachers where a good idea, especially when football, the school’s biggest sport, was during the coldest months of the year. When her parents would come to the games, they came with pillows to sit on and blankets to cover up with- if you didn’t, you were just miserable the whole time. Ashlyn’s parents may have not had it all together but one thing she knew was that no matter how cold it was, how miserable, they were in those stands; enjoying every second of seeing Ashlyn doing what she loved. They would have sat through a blizzard to see that smile on her face.

“You’re a little early.”

Ashlyn was started by the voice. She was so lost in the memories that she hadn’t even heard anyone walking over. She looked down and found a rather old man standing at the foot of the bleachers. She could tell by his uniform that he was a custodian, one of the groundskeepers at the school. Looking at him, she remembered that he had said something to her.

“I’m sorry. Early for what?”

“The game.” He said. “The season doesn’t start until the spring. You’re mighty early, dear.” The old man smiled.

“Yes,” Ashlyn said. “perhaps you’re right. But at least I’ll have the first choice of seating.” This made the old man laugh.

“Well, yes, I guess so.”

Ashlyn got up from the cold metal, which had just begun to warm up, and walked down to meet the man. The closer she got to him the more familiar he became. His white hair that was beginning to thin at the crown of his head and the matching beard seemed unmistakable. She was certain he worked here when she was a student. Suddenly a name came to her head.

“Mr.Caruso.”

The old man was slightly taken by surprise when she said his name.

“Yes.” He said, studying Ashlyn closely now. “Have we met before and I have forgotten?”

“Many years ago.” She said. “I used to go to school here. I remember you because you used to chase me out of these bleachers then too.”

“I did, did I? Well, then in that case, I’m glad to see you haven’t changed.”

There was something about his smile, the innocence in his voice. It was like a hug from your dad or a warm cup of tea on a cold night.

“I’m sorry for trespassing, I really should be getting home.”

“I’d say so.” There was still a faint trace of a hand on Ashlyn’s cheek as she turned underneath the lights. “What brings a girl like you to place like this, this late anyhow? Are you in some kind of trouble?”

“No…” Ashlyn softly shook her head. “I guess I was looking for something…”

“And did you find it?”

“In a way, yeah. I think I did. But to be honest, I have no clue what it was that I was hoping to find.”

“So how do you find something you aren’t looking for?”

“I don’t know…I was kinda hoping you knew.” She smiled.

“Well...I guess that’s the grand question then, isn’t it?” The old man said.

“I guess so.” Ashlyn rested a hand on the man’s shoulder and smiled. “You have a good night, Mr. Caruso.”

“You too, dear.”

Ashlyn made it back to her car and sat there for a moment before reaching over to grab the bottle beside her. She unscrewed the lid and overturned it outside of her door. She shook the last few drops from the glass and tossed it into the backseat before she pulled away.

 

* * *

 

When Ashlyn finally made it back to the hotel, it was nearly one in the morning and all she wanted to do was get a shower, go to bed and not wake up for a month. Ali’s bags were still at the foot of the far bed; where she had dropped them the night before. Something about a pair of bags packed, ready to be taken, unsettled her stomach.

She peeled off her clothes and threw them to the floor just outside the bathroom door and stepped into the hot shower. She didn’t know what to feel. She was scared, but at the same time, she was angry. Angry at herself. Angry at Ali’s mother; but mostly angry at herself. She wanted to get out of own skin. She wanted to peel it off just the same as she peeled off her clothes. If Ali wasn’t coming back, she didn’t want to be in the skin that held her; have the hands that touched her or the lips that kissed her. She was subconsciously hoping that if she scrubbed hard enough that maybe she could wash it away; or if she had the water hot enough that maybe it would just melt off.

Standing there, the water ran down her face and over her ears; muffling the world outside. The water created a casing around her body; wrapping her in a warm translucent skin, one that Ali had never touched. As comforting as that was, it was just as painful to know.

There was faint noise outside the door. _It’s just someone passing by_ , she told herself. But the faint sound was followed by the unmistakable sound of the door latching, as it would if it had just been opened and is now being shut again. Her body stiffened for a moment; there was only other person who had a key to her room. Her eyes focused on the door; there was a hollow feeling in her stomach again. The door opened and Ali stood in the doorway, she was only a silhouette in the steam. Slowly Ashlyn watched as she padded over to the glass and slide it back, stepping into the space between them. She looked in her eyes and they weren’t hungry or even rageful or sad; they were clear; like a child’s eyes in the morning. The water beaded on her face like dew on the leaves. Her light freckles, magnified by the tiny drops. Slowly and then all at once, like falling into an abyss, Ali fell into her. Her head laying flush in the space just above her collar bone. She could feel her hands slowly rest themselves against her back and ever so gently they grew heavier around her shoulders; surrendering themselves as they fell limp. She had given all she had and she was tired. Just like that, Ashlyn’s want to get out of her skin floated off with the steam. She wandered how she ever thought there was a better sense than feeling Ali’s skin against her own. The way it felt like laying between silk sheets or coming home after a long trip. All Ashlyn did was hold her there, trying to make sense of it herself. But all that mattered in that moment was that Ali was there…she came back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late to the update but I had some family surprise visit for the holiday and things got a little hectic. Anyway, here you go. I hope you enjoy. As always, god bless and thank you guys for reading. I love you guys.

**Author's Note:**

> How was that? This story has been eating away at me for weeks now and i finally sat down and took the time to get it all out in words. I'm so happy to have this first chapter done and I'm super stoked to get started on the next ones. Thank you for reading and have a lovely day!


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